Sunday, June 3, 2018

When I Was A Little Boy...




As a little boy lookin' at the world...
Didn't know that fate would hate me...
I was living in my fears on the ground...
Couldn't see where God would take me...
There I was just , lookin' at the sky...
Got me thinkin' that love could save me...
How could I have known that no one would come along?

When I was a little boy...
I wondered who I'd give all my love to...
I asked god who he'd recommend...
It's hard to believe I was so innocent...

When I was a little boy...
I had love at the top of my wish list...
All my dreams were so unlimited...
It's hard to believe I was so innocent...

Why do you have to be so hard on me?
Why do you have to be so hard on me?



Saturday, June 2, 2018

IOS Update 11.4 : FATE STILL HATES YOU...



In a previous post about why my recon app doesn’t seem to work anymore…

I thought that the last ios update for ios was a glitch and that’s why I couldn’t access recon on my iphone & ipad anymore… so the new ios update was available today…but nope…still can’t access recon…I think it’s the grudge fate has against me…

Got me thinking about things that has happened to me over the course of this lifetime… and how I think that my life has always been truly jaded… 

Like this one… where the very first person I came out to said that I was “bi” and not gay…someone telling me that they think they know my own sexual preference better than i do… 

Or this one…. Where a guy said I must be “possessed” because I have a fetish for armpits and bondage…

And this one… where I was called “abnormal” for being gay and not liking cocks and anal sex

I’m smiling right now… because… I don’t feel anything anymore… I’m not hurt one bit by any of these derogatory comments towards me…

my heart is like literally made of steel….…(But physically  I still bruise like a peach… no changing that)


Stupid Gay Guy...



(SCENE : me on an asian+caucasian gay dating website group chat...)

GAY GUY 1 : i've never tasted cock because i'm shy...(boo hoo)

ME : that shouldn't stop you from tasting it... i'm shy too.. but i've tasted one when i had the chance... and i'm not even into cock...

STUPID GAY GUY : so you're into v ?

ME : v as in vagina???  oh my god... if i was into vaginas... why on earth would i be on this GAY dating website lol?

GAY GUY 1 : bi... or married and one of those straight guys that like to have sex with gay guys?

STUPID GAY GUY : you don't like bj's?

ME : im 100% gay... and...no...never been into blowjobs or anal...

GAY GUY 1 : wow so rare... then what you gonna do then.. you don't have sex?

ME : i can do hand jobs.. i like kinky stuff... kinky foreplay is basically sex for me...

STUPID GAY GUY : i don't understand why you don't like cock... it's not normal for gay...

ME : yeah just because you are gay. doesn't mean you have to love bj and anal xxx.. as i said.. i like kinky foreplay more than anything...

STUPID GAY GAY : you are submissive type... you like being service only...

ME : no i'm not submissive... i actually enjoy tying up men... and i don't really enjoy being serviced either...

STUPID GAY GUY : ah you are abnormal... lol

STUPID GAY GUY : not to offend... but that is what you are...

ME : (kiss emoji)

STUPID GAY GUY : (kiss emoji)

ME:



(mic drop)

** now i understand where stand up comedians get their material from... sometimes you just can't make this stuff up...

all the countless times i have had to explain myself to guys who simply just don't get it...

it never really gets old... seriously...

SMHRME - (shaking my head and rolling my eyes)


Tuesday, May 29, 2018

The Bully...



so... as i wrote in a previous post...  fate seems to be taking it out on me all because i tried to mess with it...

as i updated my recon app... i now no longer can access my profile .. not on my phone... not on my ipad... not even on my laptop...  (because it is a gay website and that's why its blocked in the wonderful country i'm living in...)

the app was the only way to access it before and now.. that has gone to S#!*...

even as i try to change my ip address i can only get to the home page but still gets f*ucked up when in try to log in...

i'm just gonna walk away right now.... just walk away...

:-/

Saturday, May 26, 2018

Don't Mess With Fate...



i had this silly little plan that i came up with recently...

because i was going to see MARIAH for the 3rd time this lifetime... and i wanted to "push what fate doesn't have in store for me and nudge it my way"... 

or so i thought.... because apparently... you can't mess with fate... because if it's not in your cards... somehow .. someway...  it will be made known to you... sometimes in a very direct way or more subtlety  just so you get the hint...

see... i bought 2 tickets to see MARIAH in singapore for the end of the year...  1 for me.... and another for "someone"... and that someone was supposed to be a buyer who would also be a MARIAH fan just like me....going to the concert alone... 

the last time i saw MARIAH... my girlfriend bailed on me and so i had to scramble and sell off my extra ticket online... and to my surprise... selling a concert ticket online was a hot commodity... i had a number of interested buyers.... and im pretty sure most of them were gay guys... from all walks of life..

i ended up selling off my extra ticket to a girl who was desperate as the other buyer (a presumed gay guy) wanted 2 tickets instead of 1...  but this time around... things are much more different and i am just finding out about it now...

there are so many more rules and regulations about selling off concert tickets... but the big bang of it all was that i could only sell my extra MARIAH concert ticket in singapore...... "IN SINGAPORE"....

(FYI... i don't live in singapore)... so at the moment... my extra concert ticket is on sale in the malaysian market... and what makes that so redundant is... that MARIAH will also be going to have a concert in malaysia too ! but of course... me being me... i would never even consider seeing her in malaysia...

why ?.... malaysia is a muslim country... so MARIAH and her boobies and her sexy diva outfits... ( well i'm sure u get my dirft)...

so... it seems that come november 2018.... i might be stuck with an extra ticket on hand... and worst case scenario... i might have to drag my mom to the concert with me.... and she ain't much of a MARIAH person... oh dear lord...

sigh... sometimes i just wonder... why do i still bother trying?

:-(



Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Adventures Of Gym Shirt Sniffing...



i remember doing a post called ADVENTURES OF TANKTOP SNAPPING awhile back... and it got me thinking...

i haven't been taking snaps that much anymore... i guess it's just ... like... ya know.. "whats the point?"... i mean its just a picture... i cant do much with a picture... i want the real thing... and so... i have realized that i have been actually  taking one step closer towards the real thing...

and that is... of course... SNIFFING !

see.. ever since i joined a gym... (one year plus and counting) ... i have seen my fair share of tanktops... shaved pits... hairy pits... and the ever so rare sweaty pits... but i have been courageously sneaking secret ninja sniffs of random guys sweaty gym shirts in the locker room...

and i can do this only when they are in the shower... or sauna.... when they leave their freshly seasoned gym shirts laying around unattended ...



and just today... i was at it again... only this time... some guy must have left his gym shirt on the dressing counter and totally forgot about it... cuz there was nobody else in the locker room!!! .. i checked all the shower stalls... both toilets... both changing rooms... and even peeked into the sauna room... 

NO ONE else was here.... and so... that navy blue shirt on the dressing counter was definitely LOST AND FOUND property...lost by some  forgetful guy (god bless his soul) ... and found by YOURS TRULY... :-)

and so... what happened after that realization... was just me... sniffing the beejezzus out of the shirt... underarm seam of course... and with each sniff... i felt a semi permanent smile growing on my face... my eyes rolling to the back of my head yet again... (always happens when i sniff)...

sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff.....and sniffffffed some more...

took a shower... and sniffed yet again.... i honestly must have sniffed the molecules out of the underarm seam... it smelled so deep... but not so deep... attractively wholesome... in an almost exotic way... (i could only try to imagine who's shirt i was actually sniffing)... 

but i guess i'll never know... 

or will i ???

hmmmmm....

Saturday, April 21, 2018

3rd Time's A Charm...



i would have never thought that i would get to see mariah 3 times in this lifetime... but the 3rd time is going to be a charm...

** i am going to push what fate doesn't have in store for me.... and nudge it my way...
** i am going to try and make something happen...
** and mariah in singapore might just help me achieve that...

(watch this space for what is to happen...)

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Empty...



empty is like my bed...
where i sleep alone tonight...

empty is like my blog...
for months i have yet to write...

empty is like my heart...
afraid i've given up the fight...

empty is like my life...
through darkness i still see no light...

By ~ N!LoC

Sunday, February 25, 2018

#TGTBC...



why did i start this facebook group ?

well.. for starters.. i think i was just so fed up with the lack of inclusion of me fitting in anywhere... i mean as far as i can remember... i joined a gay confessions fb group and got banned for a very unjustifiable reason ( as depicted in a blog post here)... i joined a Mariah lambs fb group chat and enjoyed it for awhile up until a moment where i pointed out the obvious that she was lip syncing on stage where others blindly chose to believe that she was actually singing live... (then i got banned from the group)...

i then joined a male armpits fb group which lead to a whatsapp chat group where everyone shared pit pics and videos....then  i was yet again removed for no apparent reason... then i migrated to another newer armpits chat group... and ofcourse i was kicked out just 2 hours in... for adding a “bicep emoji” to the group name... (roll my eyes)...

even beyond fb and whatsapp groups... i have never been able to fit into any type of TOP , BOTTOM, MASTER , SLAVE , DOM , SUB etc. and all of these categories are of course needed to identify yourself in the BDSM community... and as long as i have been on recon.com ... i have tried my very best to explain  myself to everyone that i am just me... 

im not a dom... but i like to be in control
im not a sub... but i aim to please
im not a sadist... but if you like pain
it will be my pleasure...

sex to me is pretty much just kinky foreplay...  of tying up a guy... touching... tickling... kissing... blindfold and all... no anal or oral sex involved...

yet lately on recon... i haven’t been getting great vibes anymore... i mean.. i try my best to be cordial and upbeat about the whole kinky hook up thing... but when you encounter guys who talk the talk... then flake on you last minute and go M.I.A when its finally time to meet up in person... its just so frustrating...

or even faceless guys who ask to have a session with me but won’t even show a face pic as a basic courtesy.. or even worse... i ask if i can add them on facebook.... but they say “ oh facebook is too personal”...

.... ? 

(and... meeting for the first time and getting naked and tied up isn’t going to be personal ?)

i just laugh at it all now... yet as cynical as i have become... nothing pushed me more over the edge than a certain guy i met on gaycupid.com ... we kinda hit it off with philosophical conversations at first but soon after we reached the topic of sex... he liked “pure vanilla””... and i told him about my fancy for “dark sinful chocolate”... 

and theese are things he said to me... and i quote :

“you like armpits ?..u are possessed !”

“you like to tie guys up ?..omg why are u so scary?”

 “only crazy people do that!”

“i would never ever do that !... because I’m NORMAL”

“if you were a pot and i was the kettle... i would certainly change you” 

and i told him:

“oh u mean like gay conversion therapy? ... but only to convert my kinks & fetishes???"

so anyways... we don’t need to know what happened after that ... but what we do know is that this fuelled me to be more MYSELF than ever before... like a second comming...like the emancipation of mimi... or like a PhoeNiX RiSinG fRoM the @shes... 

(lol... a little too dramatic ?? ok..)

so now i have never been more motivated in my lfie to celebrate being MYSELF... and what i AM.. and what i LOVE... 

what makes me HAPPY ? (a question i have been asking myself many times before)... this is my passion !.... 

I LOVE ARMPITS!!!

I LOVE BONDAGE!!!

I LOVE TICKLING!!!

I LOVE KINK!!!

&

I LOVE MEN WHO LOVE ALL THESE THINGS!!!

and since i’ve been kicked out of all the groups that i yearn to be a part of... i thought...why don’t i just freaking make MY OWN group! and this way... NO ONE can ever kick me out ! (well... except facebook of course... if i don’t follow their nudity guidelines :-P  )

yes... i have started a new facebook group called :

THE GAY T!CKLING & BOND@GE CLUB #TGTBC

and i intend to make this group a long lasting success and with the initial interest and number of requests to join the group within the first day... things are definately looking up...

i vow to put all my wasted time and energy that was once used in finding a boyfriend & kinky love to a group that screams ME ! and my love for ARMPITS...TICKLING... BONDAGE & everything in BETWEEN!

so if u like what i like... please feel free to click the link below to join....  :-)





Monday, February 19, 2018

Snap...






i haven't taken a snap in like forever... but sexual deprivation will do things on ya...

he had completely shaved pits... and it still got my motor going... vroom vrroom  vroooom!

he was so glued on to his phone that he didn't even notice this deviant perv was snapping pics right across from him...

sigh... sexy guy


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