Sunday, December 31, 2017

I've Lost The Music...



2017...

if i could sum it up for you... it would have to be... “the year of weddings”...

this was such an unprecedented thing for me... to have never  been to any real grand hotel wedding ever  ... to attending SEVEN weddings in one year... almost half of them at five star hotels...

i don’t know if i would ever have another year filled with so many weddings again.. but it got me thinking... about how i have a time where i have never experienced something before to experiencing it all out at a moment in time...

my first wedding i attended as an adult was this one... and i got really emotional then because it made me think about all the things i wanted but couldn’t have.. and maybe ive been to one too many weddings this year so that’s why i aint phased by them anymore.. either that... or i’m afraid to come to a safe calculated assumption that maybe... i just don’t believe it will happen for me...

and im not even talking about having a wedding.. i  mean “ yay for Australia !” for being the closest neighbouring country to legalise gay marriage and all... but i mean... i really think i am naturally accepting the fact that i may and will be without a man in my life... and i’m fine with that... i am okay... surprisingly i have learnt to just live life without the hopes of finding that special guy who like even “likes” me and all...

if i could see the writings on the wall.. it would show... me... being uninspired by music anymore... songs just don’t move me like they used to... and music was such a big part of my life... i mean it's still there... but i just don’t feel it... i don’t get excited by it... you can say i’ve lost my passion for it...

again... I’m fine with that... perhaps its just all part of going through the stages of life... and the feeling i get going into 2018... is ... “nothing”...

no new year resolutions... no bucket list to tick off... (although it would still be great to see celine dion live in concert in this lifetime)... but i ain’t crossing my fingers for that to happen.. just like how i ain’t wishing and hoping to have a boyfriend anymore... 

it will be so much easier that way i suppose... just get through this life... enjoy the journey... take one day at a time... be cool calm and collected if the worse is yet to come... but whatever.. i aint gonna fret about that... no expectations... and certainly no hopes and dreams...

so here is to 2018....  as i will be spending my new year’s eve working out in an empty gym... while it rains outside...

:-(

1 comment:

fantus said...

Well, I hope there is a little music left inside you with a dream!!!

Here's too New Beginnings!!!

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