Saturday, June 24, 2017

Happiness...



down at the rainbow dreams cafe...i met a boy with "hope" in his hands...
he said “i’m a little bit confused & i’m not quite sure where i am”...

he said “i’m trying to find this place...i’ve been trying to find it for the longest time”...
and then he frowned and looked away and asked me if i heard of “happiness”...

i told him that finding it could take a while...
a windy road about 900 miles...
cross the river of tears longer than the nile...
stop and stare when u see your first smile...

make sure you accept yourself for being gay...
don’t regret about the one that got away...
Experience heartbreak with the man called “j”...
if you get lost...remember that you can always pray...

he said “i think i understand... i better go before the clouds come down”...
because it’s hard to see the light & i just don’t trust my heart anymore”...

i said “good luck” and watched him leave... he walked away and then disappeared...
just another weary dreamer like so many who can’t find what they’re looking for...

there are so many bumps along the way...
i really hope that he’s gonna be okay...
i should have told him... but i think he knows...
that in life... that’s just how it goes...

so many souls that just get turned around...
wondering why that "love" just can’t be found...
oh boy it’s a long long road of loneliness...
because it sure ain’t easy finding happiness...


~ by N!LoC ~


Thursday, June 1, 2017

Try...



why am i still single ? 
they all pitifully ask...
that question always baffles me...
an answer i never seem to have...

maybe it's just my ill fate...
or my sad unwilling destiny...
to walk this life alone...
as a single separate entity... 

being gay is not my excuse...
i know gay friends who’ve found their own...
it seems to be they live the life...
for me that life is reasons unknown...

fridae...
jack'd...
planet romeo and grindr...

recon...
 silver daddies...
 and even a paid matchmaker...

i did the clubs & i did the bars...
still doing the gyms where i got my last scar...
so with my broken wings forever longing to fly...  
DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME THAT I NEVER EVEN TRY...


~ by N!LoC ~

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