Friday, December 30, 2016

2016 Bucket List...



joining a gym was one of the best decisions i made this year,... "mi hombre latino"

after what seemed like endless rejections from almost every bank out there... i have not 1... not 2... but 3 !!!!! lol.... THREE credit cards all approved in the same month... phew! i guess giving up hope was the lucky charm...

and as for touching a six pack... which i know... was quite far fetched to begin with... i mean.. ive seen a few glorious six packs in the gym's changing room... but alas... i could only stop and stare.... 

now... i dont quite know what bucket list i wanna set up for 2017... but one i can think of involves some fate and help of the universe... and that is for celine dion to announce an asian tour sometime in 2017 and then i can finally tick off "SEEING CELINE DION LIVE IN CONCERT" off my list...

:-)


Monday, December 26, 2016

An Unexpected Gift...



i got a gift a day after Christmas...

yes... the cute little yellow koala bear key chain was certainly a nice surprise from a guy.. but the gift that i was so thankful for was to finally have my very first tickle toy experience with him... and man oh man... i am so ecstatic because i know i have been such a good little boy this past year... Only 1 disastrous date and no random hook-ups at all... and i can’t help but feel like this is what i deserve for being so deprived of any sort of physical interaction with any guy... 

i deserved it... and i certainly needed it...and i can proudly declare that this is exactly what dreams are made of... 

i mean... i have watched uncountable tickle porn videos but have never gotten a chance to try it... because the rare combination of guys who are ticklish and also willing to be tied down are just too elusive to pursue... 

but there it was... an unexpected opportunity that just presented itself ... no expectations.. not even any anticipation... just me meeting someone for the first time and letting things happen organically in it’s own time... (which was more or less within a time span of a day ... lol)

and my oh my... everything i’ve imagined it would be.... was what it was and is...

it was amazing... mind blowing... and even had a trance like effect on my nervous system... i mean... it was just as good as (if not better) than when i wank off to any one of my tickle torture porn videos...

i really can’t exactly put it in words... just how heavenly it feels to be tickling a ticklish guy tied down spread eagled on the bed and just ravishing his body with my fingers and consuming his every bit of moan and laughter he had left... i literally couldn’t stop kissing him ... it really felt that warm and fuzzy in the most perverted and kinky kinda way...

every little one of his giggles turned a switch inside of me... and it definitely turned me “ON”... and i mean like inside “inside” of me.... and i just love that feeling... and i still get little jolts of jitters just thinking about it... 

oh gosh... i always knew that i would love tickling so much... but i never knew it would be such a cold hard fact of life for me ...  so many experiences i have yet to experience... but i’m just so glad i got the chance to experience this one thing i have been longing for... for such a long long long time...

i love to tickle guys... and that was the unexpected gift i got for Christmas this year... 

:-)


Sunday, December 18, 2016

Ice Cream For Rainbows...



i just spent an exorbitant amount for 4 pints of ice cream...

and i'm not talking about the normal locally produced kind... im talking imported, gourmet and insanely overpriced ice cream that you can’t get anywhere else ... (unless you live in the states then it’s probably dirt cheap there compared to here)... 

i got 1 pint of deep dark chocolate gelato, 1 specialty espresso goats milk ice cream,  and 2 more pints from my ex bf's named "ben & jerry"...

now what drove me to do this ? it’s simple....

i had a very interestingly bad start to the weekend and so i tried to keep myself occupied by watching a movie then window shopping then going to the gym then watching 3 episodes of f.r.i.e.n.d.s back to back but at last all of them failed to keep my mind off horrible thoughts that were plaguing me...

so... instead of grocery walking... i went a step further by doing a little “grocery therapy”... (well unfortunately that didn’t help either)... not one bit... GOSH... whenever i was feeling down before... a good chocolate ice-cream orgasm would always do the trick... but not this time...

and its not like i can just go to a gay bar and pick up a random guy for a one night stand... (There is like only 1 gay bar here in town... and no...i am not ever going back there again)... 

also it’s not like i can just look on recon to tie up the closest piece of ham within a 3 mile radius... (Though that would be oh so great ...)... oh... that would really do the trick ... the real deal... oh... seriously... a little kinky fun would be so good for me right now...

i don’t know what to do anymore... to just make myself feel happy...

i can’t depend on anyone to share the feelings im going through...

i only have myself ... to make MYSELF happy...

2016... “the year to be happy”... that was what i promised myself to do this year....

but it’s just too hard... it’s just too damn hard...

and now all i have are 4 pints of overpriced ice cream yet i see no rainbows hanging over my horizon...

:-(


Sunday, December 4, 2016

The Whole Truth...



as i suddenly recall my very first date with a guy... at the tender age of sweet 16... (him 24)... as we went to watch Halloween: resurrection...  (yes... i just back dated myself and you can do the math and roughly sum up my present age as of this published blog post...)

the one thing i remember vaguely was that during the movie ... at one point he actually tried to slide his hand up my thigh... (but never made it past my knee)... i honestly didn’t know what was going on or what he was trying to do... i was just dumb ole innocent virginal naive me... thinking he probably didn't like using the arm rests on the chair...

fast forward to a similarly bogus experience last christmas as depicted in this blog post...

and top that off with the first and only date of 2016.. (which could very well be my last for now...) also depicted here in this blog post...

**yes... i went on what seemed like the almost perfect date...up untill "when i declined... his true colors showed"... yes.. people... yes.... he just wanted xxx... that's why he was so nice to me the entire time... "and the oscar goes to".....(roll my eyes....)

i can’t help but wonder...

am i just gonna be screwed for life ?  i mean ... how many toads do i have to kiss ? or more practically ... how many jerks do i have to meet ? to finally find a decent , sane guy who is ... (for a lack of a better word...)..... n i c e .... ?

i have gotten the hang of this whole... “im fine being alone and single for life” mentality... but deep down... i just can’t escape the raw emotional feeling of my burning yearning  little boy soul telling me that...

U really need a boyfriend in your life to be happy... and without one... U will never ever truly feel complete...

and there’s no fighting that feeling... because i know that is the WHOLE truth and nothing but the TRUTH...


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