Sunday, January 17, 2016

Marry A Girl...



Lately ... i have been kicking myself in the head  as to how extremely needy i  can really be... cuz when i like guy... and get those initial butterfly feelings... i can easily fall for him....real fast...( of course not before weighing out all the pros and cons and getting the green light after he passes my pre requisite test)

i guess i have always been the type to just immidiately day dream about all the possibilities for the future as my life with him flashes before my very eyes...

which brings me to a very poignant childhood memory...

when i was in grade school... i think it was grade 3... i made friends with this girl... and we clicked instantly... she was so friendly.. talkative... laid back ... basically the coolest girl ever... (well to me at least)...

after that initial meeting... i went back home and asked my mom...

“ mommy ? .... when i grow up ... can i marry a muslim girl?”.... (yes my girl crush was muslim)

(omg... as i type this out right now.. i am giggling by myself because how ironic is that... because whenever i think muslim... i think Donald trump... and all the crazy idiotic things he is saying trying to be the next president of the united states)

anyways... my mom was not having any of it... she kept quiet ... ignored me... and then finally brushed it off saying something like i was too young to be thinking about marriage and girlfriends... 

but really she has always been a mother who was extremely strict when it came to girls and stuff... she would always say... “your studies are the most important thing in life”...  and in ways... she seemed like she was pushing the message of “girls are bad... girls are "NOT GOOD”...(oh what a great blog post that was lol)

so that was that... at a very young age... before i really knew i was gay... i was day dreaming of marrying a girl after just knowing her for one day... yet now... i basically am still doing the same thing... except ... it’s with guys...


** just so you know... my childhood girl friend grew up into a butchy lesbian...  funny how life turns out... hihi

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