Thursday, December 31, 2015

500th Blog Post...



This is my 500th blog post....and the very last one of 2015....

pondering on the things that have happened this past year... oh dear... the highlights … and lowlights of it all...hmmmm let's see...

** I had a sinful time back in february... that was nice... and horrible at the same time...

** I met a guy and had an incident where I thought I was going to be raped... (thank god I wasn't)

** finally deleted all my gay apps once and for all... (well except for recon... I think i'll always have recon with me that app holds a very special place in my kinky heart...)

** met up with 2 of my facebook friends in person for the 1st time... which was nice... (made me realize that meeting in person is important if you truly wanna get to know a person... nothing at all compared to chatting behind the comfort of you phone screen)

** went through the horrific ordeal of a bad case of food poisoning which lead to a salmonella-paratyphi fever (a milder version of typhoid fever) but still felt like I was dying... gosh... and 4 months later... i'm still feeling the after effects and toll it has taken on my body... still on the road to 100% recovery...

** had a big landmark birthday... and spent it by having “fun” abroad ... oddly enough... I never wrote a post about it... hmmmm....


** fell into a big slump of a depressing period... and I think I have just only recently come out of it after having a light bulb moment... and hey... “if it happens... it happens”...

**a lot to look forward to next year... i really really want to see shania twain in concert (apparently her farewell tour at last)... i also really really want to meet "this guy" even if just for a day... and who knows what else can happen... as someone once said to me...

"the possibilities are endless"...

:-)



Monday, December 28, 2015

Snap 2.0...





 this snap does not do him any justice... cuz man oh man... from the front... his chest was glistening in sweat and oh......no words....(faints**)

wouldn't it be great if i had a guy i could go strolling in the park with and just enjoy the private view of his beautiful'ness of his tank top?... (sigh**)

:-(

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Friends...



last Christmas... a dream of mine...came true... (to go on a date with a guy who’s wearing a tank top)... snap exhibit  “A” ...

and it was quite clear from midway through our conversation that i was not his type... and at first sight to me ... he was kinda hot ... but we didn’t have much in common and didn’t really click ... physical / mental chemistry or romantically otherwise...

never thought i would see him again... but after re appearing out of the blue after a few months of silence.. he asked me out for a drink again... i really had nothing more exciting to do during my weekends so i just went ahead with it... and we both went from there....

conversations never really picked up and i guess i was just listening to him bitch about his life out of politeness...  and then somewhere down the road.. it was really obvious that were both fell into the “friends zone” and that was fine with me... i really didn’t have anybody to go out with to catch a movie or just to get out of the house... and i thought that this was the only friend i had from outside the workplace... i wasn't his type... and i didn't have any attraction to him whatsoever... 

coffee dates... the occasional movie night and even a window shopping day were the things i did with him... completely and mutually platonic...   

or so i thought....

a year later... this xmas time around... we went to watch starwars : the force awakens... and halfway through the movie... i felt his hand creep in slowly over to my seat... and made its way over to my upper thigh...  he kept looking over to me.... and i kept thinking to myself.. that this can’t possibly be happening... we are FRIENDS!... why would he want to do this... ? now!?... in the sleaziest way possible!  i think it’s barely a step above making out in a public toilet cubicle!!!

i looked over to him.. and saw his sleazy smile... and all i could think was that i really didn’t know the person sitting right next to me at all... so i put my hands on my crotch and prevented his creepy hands from going any further...

honestly i was scared... it totally caught me off guard... and i was put in a very uncomfortable position... and i was just being myself... the polite little shy guy that didn’t want to cause a scene...  
and this only solidifies that hard fact that i have always believed in ... and that is.... 

2 gay guys could never really be just...


Friends :-(

Friday, December 25, 2015

Oh Santa...


all i want for Christmas is you ?

“you”... being the operative word... someone i have yet to have... a man i have been dreaming of my whole life...

i have come to the realization in a previous post... that maybe you can’t really find it... maybe it has to find you?... but what if it never does?...

and that's the cold harsh reality that i also have come to terms with... i know i am ready to live this life all by myself... (i don’t want to...) but if those are the cards i am dealt with... well...then just so be it...

some people are just destined to live a life alone...scary as it sounds... i am ready... to put on a brave front... and just live... or at least try...


oh santa... (sigh...)

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Happens...



when it happens... it happens...

if it happens... it happens...

will it happen ? I sure hope so...

if it doesn't...

it happens :-(


~ by N!LoC ~

Monday, December 7, 2015

Hello...

                                                  Life imitating art...

at this moment with the whole adele craze with her “hello” song... perhaps inspired the stars in the universe to align and reappear... making some past memories come back around... and some reconnecting again...

iv'e had 4 guys reach out to me again (after a long period of silence) within this “hello” time frame... of which hello is still being the hottest song on the billboard hot 100 charts...

  • a guy I had a sinful time with earlier this year...
  • a guy I kinda have a love/hate thing with...
  • a guy (who could have been) said “hello” …. (to tell me he has a new bf)...
  • a guy I have missed... but no point in missing because he has a legit partner...
  • and a guy who inspired this poem...

it's funny how at times throughout my life... these sort of things happens together with the soundtrack of the moment...



Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Snap 2.0...


8.15 am ..at mc donald's waiting for my apple pie and iced chocolate...

sigh.... to bad he wasn't available on the breakfast menu...

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