Saturday, September 20, 2014

Behind The Writing : It Ain't Easy...

It Ain't Easy... (originally posted on new year's eve 2013)

"one of my ultimate poems...  a very very very personal one... i was at a local tropical resort at the time and wrote it on new year's eve and posted it fresh from the blogging oven... oh man... all the emotions that went into creating this one..."

"when all love is lost... there is really nothing left but to deal with the pain head on... and i am not one to just ignore and fake a smile and pretend everything is okay... it was a hard time... it really was me just holding on to dear "love"... believing in everything that i had was worth fighting for... but in the end... sometimes .. things are just not meant to be... no matter how hard you want them to.. so as a life lesson i had to learn the hard way... love... is...just (sigh).... it ain't easy..."

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Behind The Writing : For The Love Of Me...

For The Love Of Me... (originally posted on 28th November 2013)

"this was about me thinking back on how i thought "love" would just come waltzing into my life right infront of me and then just living happily ever after... but i never though that "love" would be such a dangerous feeling when it comes and consumes every part of you and especially when you have this eerie feeling that "the one" on the other end might not be feeling the same way... it wasn't wise to fall so fast and hard... and with that... my walls have come up and it would take alot to bring them down now..."

** i almost didn't finish this poem because i was stuck and had no idea how to go about with ending this poem... but at last... some fat dude helped me out and gave me a few ideas and lines to write... and that's how i came up with the last 2 lines of this poem...with "September" being the turning point of all of what i was feeling...  ( & ... thanks fat dude !)

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Behind The Writing : Let Go...

Let Go... (originally posted on 17th march 2014)

"i never thought i'd be able to do it... but subconsciously... writing this poem helped me through my first initial steps of dealing with the realization of a simple but ultimate "goodbye"... there is a song called que sera sera - what ever will be will be... and really... it was just me thinking that things don't always work out the way you want them to... and sometimes you really just have to accept that maybe it is fate or destiny or all up in god's hands... such a short and simplistic poem written within mere minutes..."

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Behind The Writing : Sigh...

Sigh... (originally posted on April 1st 2014)

"oh..... i was just writing out loud without any filter... yet as i look back on this.. it really is one of my unexpectedly simple favourites... i didn't even notice that each short paragraph had a contradicting juxtaposition of feelings... and that's really how my mind works most of the time... i just think too much... lol"

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Behind The Writing : Let you Go...

Let You Go... (originally posted on 6th february 2014)

"a little anthem of sorts i wrote out just to get by... lol ... if you can notice the time frame towards the end of 2013 and the first quarter of the 2014... i posted some pretty awesome stuff on my blog about letting go and finding strength from within to just deal with heartbreak... realizing about... how in life... u just need to dump the jerks out of your life"

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Behind The Writing : The Simple Things...

The Simple Things... (originally posted on January 18th 2014)

"this one was very straight forward and self explainable... i threw in the whole GOLD IPHONE reference because it would have been the best present ever if someone were to give me an iphone 5s as a gift... but i bought it as an xmas gift... for MY SELF..... (i even attention'ed the greeting card to "me"... sad but true...)
i have gal friends who have had the latest phones given to them on a silver platter by their generous boyfriends as annual gifts all the time... and i was always envious of them and wondered what it would really feel like if i was on that receiving end... but that's beside the point... i really don't expect anything superficial like expensive gifts to make me smile... and that's why such a simple thing like "liking" my stuff on facebook is such an epic gesture for me...
something so simple... yet it has such meaning to me... especially when it was comming from a person that i really cared so deeply about... yet in many ways... this poem was more like a plea for attention... and my plea unfortunately went un noticed...  woooosh..... :-( "

Friday, September 5, 2014

Behind The Writing : I Died...

I Died... ( originally posted on 6th july 2014)

"this could have took a more dramatic turn into more darker territory but a topic like suicide is something i really do not want to blog about.... but more importantly it was more like a figure of poetry... sigh... what can i say? i was just bored to DEATH.... and i was over thinking myself into a mental state of - life is useless - life is not worth living - i have no purpose in life - my life is going nowhere etc....
i am one to always look back in retrospect thinking about life .... and how much i have not lived... and that just pulled me more deeper into my "i could just die" moment... and believe it or not... as i write this... i am still dealing with lazy sunday afternoons... and hoping i don't ever get to that low point of feeling i could die again... cuz at least i know now ...  to counteract that horrible feeling... i should just stuff my face with some chocolate ice cream and call it a day.... and if all else fails... i could always go to my happy place... and have a happy meal... a.k.a MC DONALD'S "

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Behind The Writing : I Am Me...

I Am Me... (originally posted on 12th April 2014)

"breaking free out from my shell... coming out of the hermit hole that i have been living in... turning over a new leaf... or just plain - HAVING SOME F#K!NG FUN!!!- ... call it whatever it is.. but this was me just tired of being the innocent virginal little twinker bell that i was and just throwing all that away... 
this was me getting out there and not worrying about getting hurt or expecting to fall for someone that was just not that into me... as in the 3rd paragraph... i described that i wasn't worried about falling for someone to be on cloud 9 again... i just wanted to try be a total dude... and just look for something less meaning full and perhaps enjoy myself along the way..."

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Behind The Writing : People...

People... (originally posted on 18th june 2014)

" i came up with this in minutes and wrote it on my notes app on my phone... and what brought on this sudden spark of insiration? hah!... it was all because of a very rude and bitchy customer service girl at a counter i was paying my phone bill at.. and that partiuclar outlet has some of the worst customer service people i have ever come across in my life.... and basically a little snarky tone of voice from her just ticked me off and i went all... "f@#k you !.. you faT @SS BIOtch!!!" (but only in my mind ofcourse...)  lol... 
hey i don't potray any sort of public out bursts...i'm a lady!.. i have "class"....       :-p
and so i just took that energy and channeled it to write about all the other horrible people i have met in my life and just took a swipe at everyone i knew... chivalry is dead... and manners are a thing of the past  i tell ya! ..."

Monday, September 1, 2014

Behind The Writing : My Little Star...

My Little Star... (originally posted on 16th may 2014)

"sigh... oh the complicated feelings that went into this one... see... i described my (little star) as one person.. and the (moon) as another... and somehow the reason i was feeling this way was because i guess between the moon and the star... i couldn't really tell which one was closer for me to realistically touch... both so far ... yet my common sense tells me that the moon is actually much closer to planet earth (me) right?
but the moon isn't always visible all the time.. it only comes around in full once every month then slowly fades away... yet so many stars in the sky at night... and a rare shooting star firing across the sky... which i thought was coming my way... but just disappeared into the dark suddenly without a sight... so i guess i'll just hope for another shooting star to come my way... and if it doesn't... i'm fine with that too...."

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