Saturday, April 26, 2014

Story Of My Life...


“first a wink? then a hi!! what’s next ? will you marry me?”...

those first words i said to you oh so flirtatiously...
we had everyday with each other and bonded over time...
 then one sweet day u surprised me and then you were mine...

then a year passed by we had our ups and downs...
until you had enough , wished me well without a sound...
one month later i reached back out to you...
then from there on  1 + 1 only equalled 2...

on new year’s eve you shattered my heart...
when you chose to spend it with friends oceans apart...
 i realized my mistake, thought we were more than friends...
 we then talked it out and we made our amends...

another year went by, it was one hell of a time...
our friendship was so special, a rare thing to find...
i still had so much love for you but at the back of my mind...
i knew you didn’t want my love, so i never crossed that line...

until the day you decided to do...
something i’d thought you’d never ever do...
to choose NOT to read ANYMORE because of what i write...
and that’s when you made me mad and i started a fight...

3 years have passed and i know i’ve learned oh so much...
a heart can break into pieces when you love someone that much...
still can’t believe that it was over a post “you and i”...
that i ultimately found the strength to finally “say goodbye”...


~ by N!LoC ~

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Snap...


i have no problems being stuck in a long queue...

especially when there's something to "look" forward too...

sigh.......



Sunday, April 20, 2014

This Is My Confession...



a simple fantasy of mine takes place in the bedroom...

behind closed doors... where i set my inhibitions free...

call it sex... call it love making... or call it fun and games... whatever it is... that’s my definition of KINK

bound wrists... up above his head... or arms wide open ...spread eagled is what they say...

armpits exposed all for me to see... all for me to touch... basically it’s all for free :-p

blindfold in my hand... put around his head... to take away his sight... more comfortable for me... that makes it more thrilling for him...

and there it is...  a simple fantasy described the best and simple way i possibly can...

now what i do to him... there are no words to describe... because words can only go so far...

Friday, April 18, 2014

Snap...







all i have to say is.... everytime i see a couple like this... i automatically have an epic grudge on the girl because i wish wish wish wish that was ME ... feeling a bare arm around me... oooo ohhhh

i would "K1LL" to be in her position...

(gasp!).... did i just type that out loud???

whoopsie :-p


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Lucky...



when i was at the doctor the today to see her about my annoying flu symptoms... she pointed out one thing that made me realize how just lucky i really am...

she was going through my medical history file and said “oh you had bell’s palsy before?!”.. (which is basically having one side of your face slightly paralyzed ranging from various degrees of severity).... and lucky for me... mine was a fairly mild case...

i didn’t want to write about that whole ordeal... because i figured it was just not the right kinda topic for my blog... but after what the doctor pointed out... she basically said and reassured me that i am lucky to have recovered from that 100% and so quickly too!..

because there are many cases where it can take up to a year for recovery and some of them don’t even get a 100% recovery.

so as i take a moment to think about how i had to deal with that ... and how during that time...my smile looked like err... (as i like to call it)... A JOKER’S SMILE (yes that’s a pop culture batman character reference)... i really have to just be grateful of how .... lucky..... i am that i really have my smile now back to normal... 

:-)

Saturday, April 12, 2014

I Am Me...



once i  was so innocent... locked inside myself...
with the world surrounding me....
wondering through the mysteries...
but now... i... am me

i need just  a breath of life... longed  for love for too long...
breaking down vindictively...
walking through the misery...
but now... i... am me

no need to... hurt ... no need to cry
no need to... fall... to get that high
no need to... trust... just hear the lie
just take a leap... don’t need to fly

once i  was so all alone... lost inside myself...
like a plague that was cast upon me....
making it through instinctively...
but now... i... am me...


~ by N!LoC ~



Thursday, April 10, 2014

C'mon...



boys
they come around...
but i turn them away...

dudes
they talk the talk
don’t believe a word they say

men
they seem alright
to give my time of day...

but  guys
all of you... c’mon?
don’t say... “i think i’m gay?!”


~ by N!LoC ~


(**as proof of how my blog is a pure depiction of life imitating art imitating life.... just hours after writing this ... another "boy" had this to say...)


(roll my eyes)...

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Snap...


ah ooooo00000 gaaahh !

well.. i was just minding my own business driving...then i stopped at a red light... then lookey what i saw on my left ....?

gosh...  look at those arms all laid out there for drivers like me to be distracted by (giggle giggle)....man i wish i was sitting shotgun right next to him....

FYI.... i think he kinda noticed that i was snapping him from my side of the window...but he should have expected it when he decided to step out to go driving in a car "casually under dressed" like that !!!

:-)

Friday, April 4, 2014

My Little Black Book : Disappearing Acts...


"...every now and then... i find myself doing a little soul searching about why is it just so hard for me to find a decent guy to call my own... and in this particular episode of my life... i looked back on my experiences with guys that just make me wonder... where are all the good guys...?"
HAIRY CUB ~


a cute hairy little fella that started chatting to me and said he would be in my town for business in a few weeks but then disappeared into dust...and never heard from him since...


SUGAR DADDY ~ 

a mature man who offered to pay for my flight to meet him and stay a few days at his place... i said i was unsure and backed out and he said “you never know what you’re missing in life if you don’t take chances”... and never heard from him since...


BOOT LICKER ~


was in town for a few weeks... and decided to meet up ... but he cancelled last minute on me with an extremely lame excuse which obviously said it all... and never heard from him since...


GERMAN SAUSAGE ~ 

had alot of kinky things in common and he said he would come visit me in a month but he kept making up excuse after excuse and eventually just went M.I.A and never heard from him since...


AMERICAN SAUSAGE ~

and just like german sausage... this was a case of “same script... different cast”... (i even caught all the red flags when we had our first skype and he was irritated when i wanted to talk and get to know him better in ways other than getting nekkid on cam.

***** 
there is this recurring theme that goes on with all these guys who just know how to talk to talk but not walk the walk... (well except for SUGAR DADDY)... i mean he basically was putting me into a “pretty woman” situation where i thought it was wise not to go through with it for my own safety... who knows what would have happened with him...  there’s alot of crazy out there i tell ya ! 
after these string of episodes of no shows... i figured it was high time i just stop this crazy for now... because it really does take a toll on ya... so maybe i’ll just keep my virginity a little longer or until further notice...


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

(Sigh)...



i miss you..
but i hate you...
yes..
i really do...

lonely?
not really...
(sigh)...
you feel it too?

whatever...
not forever...
if only...
you’d pursue...

distant hearts...
back together...
(sigh)...
that’s up to you...


~ by N!LoC ~


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