Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year...


well... this is it... the last blog post of 2012 !


what a roller coaster ride for a year eh? i do believe that around this time last year i was blogging about how boring life was but little did i realize... my life was anything but boring... i was just not opening my eyes as to what i was really experiencing ... and that experience was... just “life” as it is...

so many things i have learnt in this past year alone... so much wisdom has been gained from insightful people i have met and known along the way... people who i believe that i just had to experience like:

 “B”...even through all the confusion... i came out knowing what i really wanted...who i really am... and how the definition of LOVE can be either completely meaningful or completely meaningless when you learn to trust your instincts... i got to see myself through a looking glass and that made me realize a lot looking back on how i behaved in the past...

or “W”... who was the person who gave me a shoulder to cry on even when my own “friend” couldn’t even lend me a listening ear... i will forever remember that kindness and a good heart can still be found in places where you least expect it and that sometimes you just need to believe that chivalry is not dead even if nowadays it really seems to be that way...

a “D” who just solidified the fact that nothing good can come from meeting up guys from grindr... and that you have to learn how to spot a jerk even if he is only a mile away... these type of jerks are the best kind of actors and the gay world is nothing but their stage to play in...

an“O”... oh oh oh... how much i have realized that i really have come a long way from my "ugly duckling syndrome" days... it almost feels weird to help someone else in the body-image & self esteem department when i myself am still just starting to overcome my own inner self hating bully...

and lastly...

a...“J”... who has been such a prominent figure of youth, wisdom and endless positivity... someone who i have grown to respect even more than ever over this past year... 

so with that being said... who knows what 2013 might bring? and to quote something a wise man once said to me:

"the possibilities are endless"

:-)


Thursday, December 27, 2012

TLC...


the lady with the lamp

TLC...

no not the tv channel... and not the 90's girl band either... I'm talking about the simple old fashioned notion of...

"tender loving care"...

think about it... what would you do if your man is having a bad day or feeling just a little under the weather? what would you do on your part to show him that you truly care?

may it be the TENDER kisses you give him… or the LOVING text messages you send just to cheer him up…or any other CARING little gesture that you can do to make his day just that iddy biddy better

I somehow find that the “Florence Nightingale” in me comes out so naturally… and to be completely honest ...l'm soo glad to have that natural instinct in me to care for a man the only way I know how...

tenderly...lovingly...and caringly...

TLC…. Hmmm that’s an abbreviation i like very much

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Best Gay Bloggers...



i actually was one of the first bloggers that got featured on this gay bloggers search site when it started up earlier this year... and was asked to type up a "behind the scenes" write up for some background story...

well here it is... the finished product...

Best Gay Bloggers 


Monday, December 17, 2012

Snap...


... this guy ...

hmmmm....there's something different about him...

he totally caught my attention for some reason....

i can't really put a finger on it... but i think....

this one feels just a little iddy biddy more that just "lust".... (sigh)

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Stealing Kisses...





“once i was begging affection from a man... now i’m just stealing kisses from a boi”

* * *

i close my eyes and look the other way... 
because it’s apparent that you don’t see me...

i close my heart if only for a day...
 and hope to understand if you don’t feel me...

i close my lips holding words i want to say...
 for fear of rejection comes along to taunt me...

i close my thoughts and keep them at bay...
 hoping to hide the insecurities of the "real" me...

* * *

"once i was needing attention from a man... but i'm still stealing kisses from a boi"

by ~ N!LoC

Monday, December 10, 2012

The Friend In Me...



 friendships come and go like winter to spring
they either blossom in time or slowly die from within
the years go by and some just disappear
yet one still remains but here is the thing

my friend hurts me in ways that’s all fun and casual
but below the surface, the damage is all but minimal
my friend talks and talks like it’s just all the usual 
but never has an ear to listen, to me... that’s just criminal

it feels like i’m a wall, a doormat, just an outlet to use
i’ve even been made fun of and verbally abused
i'm slowly realizing something that may just prompt me to choose
that the "friend" in me, might be the very friend you’ll lose


~ by N!LoC ~


Saturday, December 8, 2012

Snap...


i'm always on the lookout for hotties like these...

black tank and jeans... oooo

what a body.... (drool)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I Had A Dream...


a king sized bed...


i had a dream recently that i vaguely remembered... i was with a *guy and we went on vacation to some tropical resort place...

we shared a king size bed together in this hotel room... but all i remembered was just us waking up in bathrobes and rushing to check-out of the hotel...

as we were at checking out at the lobby area... i had this panic attack because i just realized that i just spent a night with that *guy and slept with him in a king sized bed without even touching him at all ???

NOT A SINGLE TOUCH AT ALL!!!

boy oh boy... i don’t know what the hell kinda dream that was and if it was supposed to mean anything ? but it was weird mainly because i really don’t like anyone touching me...

but i did feel a huge amount regret when i woke up...

i guess i should have touched him eh?

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Chocolate Orgasm...




 "i went to have a jog... and ended up stuffing 3 chocolate bars down my throat..."

for some weird reason... when i went for my usual sunset jog today...i had this rush of hormones surge through me... (like how a menopausal woman experiences a hot flash)... i on the other hand... experienced a "hot" flash on a whole nother level...

i was just suddenly so aggressively HORNY... i don't mean just the "hardenss" in my pants... i mean horny like... deep deep DeEp DOWN! ...

well i tried to "walk" it off... (that didn't help)

then i tried to "jog" it off...(well that kinda made it worse!)

and so there was nothing left to do but to find a secluded place and...

 "wank" it off... (ahhh)

but after that... there was still an "itch" that wasn't quite fully scratched yet... (i know this may sound a little graphic...) but ... i kinda felt like... i needed to put... "something" in my mouth...

and so i made my way to the nearest grocery store and scavenged  through the junk food section and ended up getting 2 twix bars and a JUMBO caldbury honeycomb crunchie and totally ENGULFED IT AT FIRST  BITE!!!

i literally "moaned" and "groaned" my way through all 3 chocolate bars as my eyes rolled back in a serotonin chocolate rush... this was a dead serious craving that only one thing could possibly have really truly satisfied... (XXX?)

and so... i just had to go for the next best thing... which was to have a full blown...

C H O C O L @ T E ~ O R G @ S M ! ! !

:-)

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