Sunday, May 6, 2012

Putting The Cauc In Asian...




CAUC =  my boyfriend

ASIAN = me   :-)

CAUCASIAN!!!

get it?? (hihihi)

years ago... i had this silly life plan i made up... and that plan was for me to loose my virginity before i hit the age of 30 !

i was actually so determined for it to happen...but then i ran into an unexpected "roadblock" where some jerk played me and just wanted to get into my pants as part of his conquest...

and after that was over ... i felt that maybe loosing my virginity wasn't all that important anymore... (i keep scratching my head as to why i felt that it was such an important thing to accomplish??) ... like some sort of right of passage... (stupid right??)

but now after finding my boyfriend through an online site....and being in a long distance relationship (LDR) with my him for over a year..... i still feel that i am not ready to "do it"... and when i say "do it" i mean (get f*ck3d)

and since my boyfriend made it clear that he is a TOP... i automatically have to be the BOTTOM for him.. (which i find a little unfair)... i don't even have the benefit of the doubt to try both to see which one i may like (provided i actually "like" doing any of it)...

i'm very apprehensive about it... i mean i am not a person who gets turned on by "sodomy"...but then again a lot of my friends keep telling me.."you won't know that until you try ! "

and to quote something so (politically and racially incorrect) my rice queen boyfriend once said to me :-

"i haven't met any asian who didn't like getting f*ck3d!"   

6 comments:

jamiessmiles said...

No offense, but the bf sounds like a bit of a jerk. You should not do anything that does not feel right to you. I hate guys ho insist they only top, like bottoming is weak, or makes you less of a man. Why would I want to be with a guy who thinks that of me?

N!LoC said...

haha offense not taken, actually OFFENSE AGREED !

Bruce Terrell said...

I say ditto to OFFENSE AGREED!

Real intimacy, as I see it, is both people letting go of who they Think they are, (a top, a bottom, or whatever) and taking an adventure into what is fresh and new, beyond all limiting and frozen labels.

It is an opportunity to experiment and go into the unknown and to discover new parts of ourselves, and new possibilities for the relationship. The edge of constant newness and surprises can be very exciting.

N!LoC said...

hmmm , thats some deep stuff bruce, "DEEP" being the operative word hihihi

jamiessmiles said...

I think any time you approach your first time together with such rigid boundaries is a sign he is not about intimacy or getting to know you. One of the big differences between getting laid and being in a relationship is being able to explore your limits together.

N!LoC said...

Thanks Jamie, I"ll keep that in mind ...

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