Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year...


well... this is it... the last blog post of 2012 !


what a roller coaster ride for a year eh? i do believe that around this time last year i was blogging about how boring life was but little did i realize... my life was anything but boring... i was just not opening my eyes as to what i was really experiencing ... and that experience was... just “life” as it is...

so many things i have learnt in this past year alone... so much wisdom has been gained from insightful people i have met and known along the way... people who i believe that i just had to experience like:

 “B”...even through all the confusion... i came out knowing what i really wanted...who i really am... and how the definition of LOVE can be either completely meaningful or completely meaningless when you learn to trust your instincts... i got to see myself through a looking glass and that made me realize a lot looking back on how i behaved in the past...

or “W”... who was the person who gave me a shoulder to cry on even when my own “friend” couldn’t even lend me a listening ear... i will forever remember that kindness and a good heart can still be found in places where you least expect it and that sometimes you just need to believe that chivalry is not dead even if nowadays it really seems to be that way...

a “D” who just solidified the fact that nothing good can come from meeting up guys from grindr... and that you have to learn how to spot a jerk even if he is only a mile away... these type of jerks are the best kind of actors and the gay world is nothing but their stage to play in...

an“O”... oh oh oh... how much i have realized that i really have come a long way from my "ugly duckling syndrome" days... it almost feels weird to help someone else in the body-image & self esteem department when i myself am still just starting to overcome my own inner self hating bully...

and lastly...

a...“J”... who has been such a prominent figure of youth, wisdom and endless positivity... someone who i have grown to respect even more than ever over this past year... 

so with that being said... who knows what 2013 might bring? and to quote something a wise man once said to me:

"the possibilities are endless"

:-)


Thursday, December 27, 2012

TLC...


the lady with the lamp

TLC...

no not the tv channel... and not the 90's girl band either... I'm talking about the simple old fashioned notion of...

"tender loving care"...

think about it... what would you do if your man is having a bad day or feeling just a little under the weather? what would you do on your part to show him that you truly care?

may it be the TENDER kisses you give him… or the LOVING text messages you send just to cheer him up…or any other CARING little gesture that you can do to make his day just that iddy biddy better

I somehow find that the “Florence Nightingale” in me comes out so naturally… and to be completely honest ...l'm soo glad to have that natural instinct in me to care for a man the only way I know how...

tenderly...lovingly...and caringly...

TLC…. Hmmm that’s an abbreviation i like very much

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Best Gay Bloggers...



i actually was one of the first bloggers that got featured on this gay bloggers search site when it started up earlier this year... and was asked to type up a "behind the scenes" write up for some background story...

well here it is... the finished product...

Best Gay Bloggers 


Monday, December 17, 2012

Snap...


... this guy ...

hmmmm....there's something different about him...

he totally caught my attention for some reason....

i can't really put a finger on it... but i think....

this one feels just a little iddy biddy more that just "lust".... (sigh)

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Stealing Kisses...





“once i was begging affection from a man... now i’m just stealing kisses from a boi”

* * *

i close my eyes and look the other way... 
because it’s apparent that you don’t see me...

i close my heart if only for a day...
 and hope to understand if you don’t feel me...

i close my lips holding words i want to say...
 for fear of rejection comes along to taunt me...

i close my thoughts and keep them at bay...
 hoping to hide the insecurities of the "real" me...

* * *

"once i was needing attention from a man... but i'm still stealing kisses from a boi"

by ~ N!LoC

Monday, December 10, 2012

The Friend In Me...



 friendships come and go like winter to spring
they either blossom in time or slowly die from within
the years go by and some just disappear
yet one still remains but here is the thing

my friend hurts me in ways that’s all fun and casual
but below the surface, the damage is all but minimal
my friend talks and talks like it’s just all the usual 
but never has an ear to listen, to me... that’s just criminal

it feels like i’m a wall, a doormat, just an outlet to use
i’ve even been made fun of and verbally abused
i'm slowly realizing something that may just prompt me to choose
that the "friend" in me, might be the very friend you’ll lose


~ by N!LoC ~


Saturday, December 8, 2012

Snap...


i'm always on the lookout for hotties like these...

black tank and jeans... oooo

what a body.... (drool)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I Had A Dream...


a king sized bed...


i had a dream recently that i vaguely remembered... i was with a *guy and we went on vacation to some tropical resort place...

we shared a king size bed together in this hotel room... but all i remembered was just us waking up in bathrobes and rushing to check-out of the hotel...

as we were at checking out at the lobby area... i had this panic attack because i just realized that i just spent a night with that *guy and slept with him in a king sized bed without even touching him at all ???

NOT A SINGLE TOUCH AT ALL!!!

boy oh boy... i don’t know what the hell kinda dream that was and if it was supposed to mean anything ? but it was weird mainly because i really don’t like anyone touching me...

but i did feel a huge amount regret when i woke up...

i guess i should have touched him eh?

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Chocolate Orgasm...




 "i went to have a jog... and ended up stuffing 3 chocolate bars down my throat..."

for some weird reason... when i went for my usual sunset jog today...i had this rush of hormones surge through me... (like how a menopausal woman experiences a hot flash)... i on the other hand... experienced a "hot" flash on a whole nother level...

i was just suddenly so aggressively HORNY... i don't mean just the "hardenss" in my pants... i mean horny like... deep deep DeEp DOWN! ...

well i tried to "walk" it off... (that didn't help)

then i tried to "jog" it off...(well that kinda made it worse!)

and so there was nothing left to do but to find a secluded place and...

 "wank" it off... (ahhh)

but after that... there was still an "itch" that wasn't quite fully scratched yet... (i know this may sound a little graphic...) but ... i kinda felt like... i needed to put... "something" in my mouth...

and so i made my way to the nearest grocery store and scavenged  through the junk food section and ended up getting 2 twix bars and a JUMBO caldbury honeycomb crunchie and totally ENGULFED IT AT FIRST  BITE!!!

i literally "moaned" and "groaned" my way through all 3 chocolate bars as my eyes rolled back in a serotonin chocolate rush... this was a dead serious craving that only one thing could possibly have really truly satisfied... (XXX?)

and so... i just had to go for the next best thing... which was to have a full blown...

C H O C O L @ T E ~ O R G @ S M ! ! !

:-)

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Soulmate...



"in this day and time... the right one is hard to find
and that’s why i’m holding on to u...
because each and every night... when i turn out the lights
there’s no mistake in what i have is true..."


 Soulmate ~ Josh Turner


Monday, November 26, 2012

Scent Of A Man...


flashback...


(my very first job fresh out of college was at a luxury men's boutique...)

and due to the nature of that environment... i may have deviantly abused my perks of the job and sniffed some of the distracted-preoccupied male customers' shirts in the fitting room...

yes i am guilty...(bite me)

but i just have to say...there is something so orgasmic about smelling a used shirt of a man...

the after hint of his cologne and his eau "naturale" pheromones and traces of sweat...

the feel of his shirt still warm from his body heat...makes my senses go wild... my eyes roll to the back of my head as i die in orgasmic ecstasy..

(i sometimes go crazy wondering how the random guy standing across the room from me smells like....)

it makes me glad to be gay... and attracted to men because...

man is beautiful...

man is strong...

man is beast...

man smell good...

(sometimes bad)

but mmmmm still all goood...


Friday, November 23, 2012

Snap...


what a view....

lean on that rail baby... mmmm....

lean baby... LEAN....

i wish those were my hands grabbing those beautiful guns...

and the brand of tanktop is "diesel"...

nice tight ass too .....

and....exhale.....(sigh)....

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

That's The Way Love Goes...



DISCLAIMER

This video contains images of men engaging in suggestive acts, including gay sexually oriented material
Please leave now if you are offended by such material, or if you are under the age of 18


video


That's The Way Love Goes ~ Janet Jackson

video by ~ N!LoC


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

All By Myself...




you know that CELINE DION song all by myself ? the one where she sings...
"when i was young... i never needed anyone..
making love... was just for fun.... those days are gone.."
(well.. whenever i lip synced to that song... i always sang it a little differently...)
"when i was young... i never needed anyone...
m@$+ur8@+!ng... was for fun... those days are gone..."
you see...in high school when i discovered m@$+ur8@+!ng (a little late i know) .... i would fantasize about my guy friends shirtless while i jacked off.. it was weird at first.. (jacking off while thinking of my guy friends?)...it almost felt WRONG!

i even made up some sort of dramatic notion that it was a true sin to jack off and it was truly the work of the devil... it was the big bad devil that was possessing me to touch myself...

(little did i know... i was just being a "horny little devil") no big deal right !?

hi hi hi :-)

you know...when i was in college.. i actually had urges of hooking up with total strangers and having one night stands with any random hot guy i saw... (it was just all my raging hormones...and also maybe me just being a little desperate as well...)

but... after a while.. it just felt natural.. like.. it's just me.. maturing physically.. and understanding my sexuality and urges...letting my fantasies run wild ....(if only in my head)

Monday, November 12, 2012

Snap...


his tanktop was turquoise but seeing him made me color blind...

(....inhale)

just another candid snap of a guy wearing a tanktop at the mall ....

i really commend him for having the "guts" to tuck in that tanktop in his tight blue jeans....

tank top + pair of jeans..

what a deadly combination....

(exhale.....)


Thursday, November 8, 2012

Google Search...







these are some of the search words typed in from random people all over the world who got  redirected to my blog

"his shaved pit"... ?

"tanktop shirtless bra equivalent"... ?

hmm thanks alot GOOGLE !

hihihi

:-)




Monday, November 5, 2012

Cloud Number 9...


 

i lost myself on cloud number 9...

above the misty pink blue sky...

when i came back down... i was surprised to find...

my foolish heart... missed being up so high...

confused and puzzled like a young little boy...

i wondered each day if that cloud was gone...

but little did i know... i would feel such joy...

to know that cloud number 9... was with me all along...


~ by N!LoC ~


Thursday, November 1, 2012

Snap...


the moment this guy walked in.. my eyes were like... BOOM BOOM POW!

so.. then i got up and took my sweet time to walk out of the restaurant...s l o w l y

and TA DAAH!!!

this is my very first ever snap of a guy from the front...

thank god he was fumbling with his iphone...

he didn't even realize i was taking a snap of him...

ooooo he has such pretty eyes...

if only i could join him for a drink...

(sigh).....

:-)


Monday, October 29, 2012

100 Blog Posts...



wow... have i really reached my 100th post already???

about a year ago...i promised myself early on to keep consistent in my blogging and so i guess the “ 10 posts per month” principle rule i set for myself really paid off...

i actually had concerns if i was gonna be able to pull off writing 10 posts per month... i had my doubts.. but then again... i never really doubted my self...

blogging has honestly been a new found joy ... something that really just happened out of pure boredom... which in turn ... transpired into something so wonder full... creative... inspirational and into a great hobby...yes... somebody call  911... i actually found a new hobby !!!!  (giggle giggle)...

so... i am gonna give myself a pat on the back... and toast my glass of orange juice...to writing up another 100 more

oh and by the way...

 i guess i also discovered another hobby i like to call “snapping” ... which really evolved soon after i started blogging...  just see for yourself... hihihi

***
*as i finished writing that... i just noticed that it's actually a hundred posts for 2012... which shortly there after i REALIZED that there were another forty posts from 2011... so really... it's technically errr...140 posts in total...

gosh... sometimes i can be such a B!MbO !.... with really bad math... urgh... oh well... happy 140th !!! blog post then (giggle giggle)   

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Asian Boys...


this is a *special request from a reader who enjoyed my last video so much that he suggested i do one with a different "flavor"...

so ... to all the rice queens out there...

this one's for you !!!

XOXO


video


What Is Love ~ Exo-K

video by ~ N!LoC


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