|"even guys like me... don't want guys like me......"|
that was the line that standford said to charlotte in sex and the city (the series)....and i had a light bulb moment.... because ...omg... that was so true!!!
all through the years i've spent posting my innocent virginal profile on several gay dating sites.. wishing and hoping that i would catch someones eye..but all the guys that would hit me up would be older men...uncles....grandpas....santa clauses....and the occasional "finger licking good"...colonel sanders..
~why do i always attract this specific pool of fishies??
~why aren't any of the young fishies in to me??
~why are most of the older fishies that hit me up ..usually caucasian??
(although i did have one guy from hong kong who was into me...but i guess he only liked me because he had a fetish for long haired boys...and it just so happened my profile pic that time was me ....during my "long hair" era) ...we kinda lost touch in the end... and i never knew if it was because i cut my hair short..or we just talked about the weather too much
and you know you are in a rut..when you have nothing much to say to each other and start talking about the "weather"...(sigh)
and being a gay asian male like myself ...i've always felt shoved at the very bottom of the pecking order in the "gay scene"... i've been to gay clubs where i've been so invisible..i might as well be casper the friendly ghost...(at least then i would get to be friends with christina ricci)...
and when i would hit the dance floor to start my " bump and grind" session.. guys would actually SLOWLY MOVE AWAY...and some would actually stop dancing altogether!!!!
am i that repulsive??? am i just not "HAWT" enough to be firing up the dance floor??
i am not like some of those lousy auditioning dancers on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE in denial...!! i can actually shake my bon bon like a frickin PUSSYCAT DOLL!!!!.... (i have trophies to proof and back that up)
i ain't kidding...i even know the whole SINGLE LADIES dance routine by heart!!!
after years of soul searching...and slowly growing out of my "JAIL BAIT" looking years ....i've finally come to a conclusion that took me just a little too long to discover...
there is only one place where i truly belong....a place where i will never ever be invisible...a place where the more "carbohydrates" the better...
and that place is called...
"the land of the RICE QUEENS"....... (insert glittering holy choir chorus)